True the kissing now is done and over.
The moment froze, the hum inside my head
to share this kiss with you, my sweet lover,
and ponder what we've too soon left unsaid.
Isolation brings time to cold cold dread,
of all the days to come where kisses cease.
For you have gained your own immortal peace.
-----
someone suggested that haiku was easier so i thought
a comparison study to the post previous to be in order.
11 comments:
Dam, nearly brought a tear to my eye. So much emotion in such a concise little package. Well done my friend.
whoa this is good, chilling and sort of sad but touching.
Oh no! Do not lay the kisses dead! how lovely and sad at the same time
Is it?
This just hit me like a ton of bricks. xo
Eternal...and beautiful
Linda
In the haiku, you've captured the essence of the poem, but I don't know how much easier it is!
The use of such emotional contrasts really gives a powerful effect, Larry!
sad and touching.
i don't think one is easier than the other, just a difference in style. catching the essence, the life and movement, is never easy.
kudos to you -- well done.
Wow. I really love it, nice job. Really great. And not to copy what others have said but sad and touching is a perfect description of it.
Interesting study - I always enjoy haiku as a kind of mystery, a small puzzle because something must be left out in order to meet the syllable requirements. There can be power in the fewer words but there is still much left unsaid.
With this poem, you've stretched it to include more melancholy & longing.
Bravo on both accounts :)
the love and longing here is incredibly strong... i love it!
Post a Comment