edgy pain

(for Noelle)

now? well, ache is a good term -
still aching inside,
why? distance, absence, hurts, loneliness,
facing up to these, and the aching for
what can't be faced up to.
yet, moments of solace transpire,
last night i opened the package that
held the book, your book, and then
i turned the light out, walked over
and lay down on the bed in near total
darkness, i held the book and all the words
to my chest, in the dark
wondering what dreams within,
what exorcisms might await,
what wisdom wants to speak,
what tears to be shared,
what shame to expose,
what hurts to let go,
i let it flow over me and through into
my heart, enfolded in darkness, only the nightlight
of the alarm clock face nearby in an otherwise blackened room
and those words clutched tightly to me
then turning on the lamp,
i began to read...

part human - part divine

We must have the courage

to pray to have the courage to accept.

Because we do not pray enough, we see only the human part.

We don't see the divine.

And we resent it.

I think that much of the misunderstanding

of suffering today

comes from that

from resentment and bitterness.

Bitterness is an infectious disease

a cancer

an anger hidden inside.

Suffering is meant to purify

to sanctify

to make Christlike.

---From Words to Love By by Mother Teresa

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My response:

in humanness the difficult will turn,

and cause inward resentment to burn,

overwhelming blame of great distress,

builds up to multiply sour bitterness,

yes, suffering brings such unique needs,

misunderstanding builds in a heart that bleeds

yet stepping back there our other nature,

a positive view springs from a human creature,

inside the soul there is transformed,

grace hope and joy bring life reborn,

suffering yields marvelous fruit in time,

when a seeking prayer calls forth the divine

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this is my expression of Mother Teresa's thought on suffering and the changes that can take place in the heart