Showing posts with label struggle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label struggle. Show all posts

Friday, July 10, 2009

typing to figure















It is said that verbal people (women) talk to figure out what they wish to say - well here i am typing to figure out what i want to type! :)

i've dropped off a bit -
energies have been in other directions -
i have been doing a 1900 calorie diet
which is demanding -
and maintaining a food journal -
which you can see off my profile
i set it there so i could text eats to the blog
then i consolidate so i can email it to 'the dietician'
plus i was on vacation from July 3 thru 7 and they took me out of the loop
i always try to be doing something on July 4 - it was "our" anniversary - she passed in January before our 20th this year would have been the 23rd - (4th since she's been gone)
no i don't think about it all the time - but i do miss the close partner
so maybe a bit of "brain drain" will assist my stuckiness ...
i am weighing in at about 220 now - i was 240+ back on Thanksgiving of last year -
so between exercise and eating habit changes i am dropping a few pounds
i am gonna relax off the food blog soon - it is getting a bit intense ---
keeping up with every calorie is a challenge if you never tried it...
my goal is to stay under 1900 calories a day -
my metabolic rate is about 2400 so that puts me 500 a day under
meaning 3500 in a week - and we all know 3500 calories == a pound of fat...

i weighed in at 219 this morning - on June 9 I weighed 225 so that is 6 pounds in 4 weeks

also i bought a pair of jogging shoes that hurt my knee - i had to switch from jogging to biking
due to stabbing pain in my knee - that was about the time I started with the dietician.

so walking a bit and biking - i will also be working a fitness strength program at the wellness center




Monday, October 27, 2008

Not Going Back


an early fall to difficulties
leaves one feeling all alone
reality shakes the outer shell
rattles completely to the bone

Extracting love's idyllic dream
smashing, crushing words leave shards
killing the soul, puts imagination in chains
withdraws all potent winning cards

Long does hope's glimmer shine
fend darkness til light snuffed out
the fight for air, life's fundamental
the greatest struggle ever, break free
or die with muted shout.

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photo "i-appropriated" from Jack