typing to figure

It is said that verbal people (women) talk to figure out what they wish to say - well here i am typing to figure out what i want to type! :)

i've dropped off a bit -
energies have been in other directions -
i have been doing a 1900 calorie diet
which is demanding -
and maintaining a food journal -
which you can see off my profile
i set it there so i could text eats to the blog
then i consolidate so i can email it to 'the dietician'
plus i was on vacation from July 3 thru 7 and they took me out of the loop
i always try to be doing something on July 4 - it was "our" anniversary - she passed in January before our 20th this year would have been the 23rd - (4th since she's been gone)
no i don't think about it all the time - but i do miss the close partner
so maybe a bit of "brain drain" will assist my stuckiness ...
i am weighing in at about 220 now - i was 240+ back on Thanksgiving of last year -
so between exercise and eating habit changes i am dropping a few pounds
i am gonna relax off the food blog soon - it is getting a bit intense ---
keeping up with every calorie is a challenge if you never tried it...
my goal is to stay under 1900 calories a day -
my metabolic rate is about 2400 so that puts me 500 a day under
meaning 3500 in a week - and we all know 3500 calories == a pound of fat...

i weighed in at 219 this morning - on June 9 I weighed 225 so that is 6 pounds in 4 weeks

also i bought a pair of jogging shoes that hurt my knee - i had to switch from jogging to biking
due to stabbing pain in my knee - that was about the time I started with the dietician.

so walking a bit and biking - i will also be working a fitness strength program at the wellness center

Love Letter No 50 - Nature Love

Dear D,
Like the deer bounding up the
mountainside, a heartbeat in swift
compulsion rises in excitement and
I see you beckoning me. I hear
tweets, real birds (not cell texts),
in the flora, echoes of a silent heart's evocation
shared as eyes meet. Then breaking
clear of the mountainside, the
ridge awaits, to the south the
valleys of lush deciduous
growth, to the north the hillside
covered in the exuberant passion
of summer's growth. We burst to the peak's
view of the world!

Fresh, pure, clear,
love inspired, nature affirmed. From
here we can see forever,
it's a beautiful sight!

With deep and tender affection,

L

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Write a love letter and share it with someone special in your life.

Love Letters are a Thursday feature.

--------------

Check the link on the pic to see where I went hiking this past Monday. It was a 2 mile hike that went up 1700 feet! The peak is at 4800 above seal level :)

http://www.craigbickhardt.com/lyrics/lyric_this_old_house.html

Writer's Myspace Craig Bickhardt









This Old House

There are fifty liquor boxes in my hall
And a hundred empty nails on my wall
There's a sign out in my yard that reads "For Sale"
And if this old house could cry the tears would fall
There are bargain hungry vultures everywhere
Buying broken toys, old clothes, and Tupperware
The phone's been taken out, they've stopped the mail
And if this old house could talk I'd say a prayer

I've been strong and I've been sturdy
And I've weathered every storm
I've always kept your family safe and warm
Now you're packing up the laughter
And you're sweeping out the tears
If this old house were built on memories
I would stand a thousand years
This old house, this old house
If this old house were built on memories
I would stand a thousand years

Take another look before you lock my door
Where your shoes have worn the finish from my floor
Listen to my banging pipes and my creaking stair
Let your boy slide down my banister once more
I'll remember where you hid the extra key
Where the hammer and the band aids used to be
I will smell your morning coffee in the air
And I'll see you hanging tinsel on the tree

I've been strong and I've been sturdy
And I've weathered every storm
I've always kept your family safe and warm
Now you're packing up the laughter
And you're sweeping out the tears
If this old house were built on memories
I would stand a thousand years
This old house, this old house
If this old house were built on memories
I would stand a thousand years

---

Written by Craig Bickhardt and Thom Schuyler
©1986 Colgems-EMI Music Inc. (ASCAP)/ Bethlehem Music / Screen Gems-EMI Music Inc. (BMI) Lawyer’s Daughter Music

Love Letter No 49 - Firecracker Love

Dear S,
Wow! You are firecracker hot!
Explosive, flammable, scorching to touch.
This is an astonishing summer connection.
Let's put on our own private fireworks show
this 4th of July.
All is right with the world when you light my fuse!

With deep and tender affection,
L
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Write a love letter and share it with someone special in your life.

Love Letters are a Thursday feature.

--------------

Photo 'i-appropriated' from "Threadless Tees.
Follow the link on the picture to see more Threadless Tees or
visit the web page at http://www.threadless.com/

to bless summer

hot dogs, hamburgers, steaks on the grill
poolside, park walks, camping on a hill
novels, poems, prose, all that's readable
salads, veggies, fruit and melons so edible
friends young or old, brand new and long past
summer is time to enjoy things that last

every vacation, or day trip that's made
shaved ice, snow cones, pink lemonade
time for the family, and if you haven't guessed
may moments of sunshine be thoroughly blessed

sweet ebullience

i may have a sweet feeling within,
and be carried along by exuberance,
yet, this cannot be construed as love,

for love is the active,
the take charge,
the reasoned intention
working through one to the other,
love is all I do that creates
sweet ebullience in you...

togetherness takes over

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Photo 'i-appropriated' from Jack.
Follow the link on the picture to see more of Jack's great photography; visit her web at "Slightly off center" .

Asparagus Pie Plate, from the family cookbook

Asparagus Pie Plate
Submitted by Jovanna Kennedy

asparagus
1/2c milk
2 eggs
grated white cheese
salt and pepper to taste

Layer drained asparagus in pie plate. Mix remaining ingredients and pour over asparagus.
Bake at 350deg for 15-20 mins.
-----------------------------------
Did you ever wake up with asparagus on your mind?
Photo i-appropriated from Carrie Wood over at http://www.temptressyarn.com/

Love Letter No 48 - Smile Love

Dear L,

The light of your smile
is amazing. A sacramental gesture which
liberates energy, inspires devotion,
engages passion, directs compassion, and
bestows a plenitude of charmed affection.
The light of your smile illuminates
every dark place within.
I LOVE YOU.
L

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Write a love letter and share it with someone special in your life.

Love Letters are a Thursday feature.

--------------

to bless "vacation"

May high time be a low tide with
head room for the journey,
carefreely undertaken.

May vacation be respite from all the harried
woundedness of everyday insurgence. As siege
after siege come against the bulwarks of routine,
may rest and relaxation rejuvenate the inner being
as they overcome the pitfalls we all opine.

May the difference in vacation and duty be small,
yet compellingly obvious.

As vacation transforms from vision to destination
may "It's time to relax", the mantra of letting go,
become a distant sound as the bird's sing,
the wind blows in the pines, the waves break
on the beach or the brook splashes and babbles
supplanting all inner voices in the symphony
of arrival within the place of rest.

And may you experience the full joy of "slan abhaile"
(safe home) as the curve of the journey becomes tangent
to the bright future conceived in refreshment
and borne by new dawn.

chase a dream

chase a dream, it matters, the bigger difference

chase a dream, simple to complex, act on mind's inference

chase a dream, vision's creativity, non-essentials' deference

chase a dream, live life's golden climax, destiny of inheritance

chase a dream, relentless passion, journey with endurance

chase a dream...

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Photo 'i-appropriated' from Jack.
Follow the link on the picture to see more of Jack's great photography; visit her web at "Slightly off center" .

never an overreach

deep surprise, discovered recently
entirety of life, even destiny,
bound in kinship's similarity,
drawing close, eventuality

change of schedule, meeting places,
activity realigned, seeking faces,
accommodation adjustment
for sharing quality time

touched, shared, encouraged to fly
friend's impact, sustaining life
finding ways to overcome deficit
one to build on, not to risk it

difference made here, inestimable
willing to do whatever it takes
priority encounter raises the stakes,
never an overreach

Love Letter No 47 - Infuse Love

Dear B,
A glance, a word, a touch, these all take us places. Places of the mind, body, soul, yes, these arrivals create hearts anxious to unite and be infused by union. I long to experience the color only you can bring out. That smile infuses my mind and bends the corners of my mouth upward. That touch infuses my skin, tingling me from head to toe. That glance infuses my eye with beauty discovered each time our gazes lock.

To struggle to work this out brings an infusion of hope. We get our fingerprints all over this love and each other. Let's infuse now!

With deep and tender affection,
L
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Write a love letter and share it with someone special in your life.

Love Letters are a Thursday feature.

--------------

Photo 'i-appropriated' from Jack.
Follow the link on the picture to see more of Jack's great photography or visit her web at "Slightly off center" go directly to her post this past Wednesday here.

joining of hearts

instinctive the gaze to
touch primal yearnings
quickened, the pulse gives way
as rapturous waters
flow over the body
melted resolve holding sway

shhh, tis audible
love's heartbeat drones
melding of souls ensues
fine savor of essences
hanging heavy in air
all senses love's anguish imbues

complete resistance
becomes utter release
in silence the merging imparts
fulfillment of nature
divine love's deep heat
proves the joining of hearts

---------------------------
this poem is in response to i will possess your heart over at Shadow's place.
Check it out!
Thanks Shadow, that was awesome.

to bless forms

Replacing an older cliche with a newer one;
"to everything there is a season" becomes "to
everything there is a form." For life consists
not in the abundance of possessions, but in
the multitude of boxes checked, addresses written
in rectangles, and signatures of printed names which have
been scratched out in the midst of the cutting, running,
driving, dodging and digging that composites
each day of our existence.

May the 1,000 plus forms found at irs.gov offer
more $$$ relief than %%% pain. And may there
always be a black ink pen available for job apps,
marriage license, resume', building permit, insurance
application, travel insurance, or camp application,
when need arises.

May required information, be it loan applications,
shot records, health exams, be always and
easily accessible.

And may the space between birth certificate and
death certificate be filled with delightful wonder over
the average 23 months that we all spend on the completion
of the ever mounting paperwork of the modern milieu.

------------------------
What is the most unusual form you ever had to fill out?
Or is there an interesting experience you had related to a form?

A friend of mine said he got a good laugh at a job interview because he wrote on the form in the box labeled "Any reason you cannot fulfill the requirements of this job?" "I can't fly!"

:)

run with the wind

I get nothing,
nothing solid -
no intention to
force something
that isn't there
- but somehow
that nothing
keeps hanging
around in the air,
the wind blows
through and
it stays because
not even the wind
can blow nothing
around ---
so i run
with the wind
through nothing




-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Photo 'i-appropriated' from Jack.
follow the link on the picture to see more Jack's great photography or visit her web at "Slightly off center"

Love Letter No 46 - Etched Love

Dear O,
There is a tool love guides, touching the soul, etching the imprint of love's work.
How lovely the heart that has been so engraved. How amazing the soul that has been carved with the relief of love's mystic lines. And even more the glad enigma of two vessels fashioned to fit in oneness. This display is ours to show the world. Etched to form the mural on the tapestry the lava flow of love has created in, through and around us.

With deep and tender affection,
L
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Write a love letter and share it with someone special in your life.

Love Letters are a Thursday feature.

--------------

Thanks to Shadow for being a consistent inspiration.

to bless nutrition

In all the busy ways of life may there
be gracious moments of finding
healthy potential. May food resources become
fuel for every good gift expressed
through an active nature.

May athletic fun be nourished
to fulfillment of sport. May recreation
be supplied with carbs of joyful
energy. May you dance and play with
the energy of food and drink
matching provision with need in
harmonious union.

"Never too much for the one with
the most or too little for the one with the
least" becomes reality when blessing
touches physical hunger. May your
body weight bring you
pleasure, with knowledge that it is
one part of "the unique you".

May the process of right nutrition
carry over to family and friends when
sharing meals. And may healthy choices
become fructuous habits allowing happy
and light processes of eating to
maintain your personal constitution.

Love Letter No 45 - Shadow Love

Dear D,
The feelings in my heart bubbled over. Your smile, your hand, gentle encouragement became the adorable key. Sensitivity to need proving its mettle. The nod, eyes burning with affinity, seminal laughter, all joining the mantra "I get you."

Anyone who saw those two, me and you, together was mistaken. They must have thought "how intimate", yet, we met in passing. Yes, love soared to heights sublime working fast and furious, if only for the fleeting exchange of a handshake and hug. And if not for fleeting moments would there ever be love at all?

O!, to live in the shadow of love!

With deep and tender affection,
L
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Love Letters are a Thursday feature.

another sort of why

multitude of grace – in place
over their heads – ‘nuff said
don’t know what to do – do you
need to run – it’s no fun
foolishness – to impress
little things – that go bling
stir us up – and fill the cup
deserves a yes – question this
so go figure – it got bigger
not easy Jesus – could you leave us
distant ages – goes in stages
parents and kids – got their bids
obvious peace – not for release
a simple case – but way off base
the smallest nuance – the big dance
gawk and go wow – wonder somehow…
and “why”





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Photo 'i-appropriated' from Jack.
follow the link on the picture to see more Jack's great photography or visit her web at "Slightly off center"

empathy

so tender hearted, with mercy this moves
something un-started, how a heart sooths
intensity makes it, scary to boot
what it is yet, the heart can’t refute

frightening feelings, so intimidating
stirrings and reelings, plus all the waiting
underneath apprehension, what it’s made of
very best of intention, sharing this love

Saying yes...

"Saying yes to life creates space where every encounter is a gift."
~o'hOgain

to bless "findings"

the small things of life challenge;
a pen, a book, keys, a phone,
hiding during inattentive moments
demanding priority, making the small
important by degree of present need

May dependence on small things
never become an excuse to violate
relationships of the heart with angst,
insecurity, and rude hustle.

May the misplaced dislodge laughter,
discovering the unconscious way
life is lived, so carefree until loss
taps the shoulder to remind
internal humanity you've come home.

shared with an angel

personal passion shared with an angel
attempting awareness inflamed by sweet charms
moments freely given, release earnest feelings
the heart given freedom intermingles, disarms

personal passion speaks deep as emotion
sweeter the air with honeysuckle's perfume
talk late through the day, time shed as a jacket
unneeded for spring evening's friendship to bloom

laughter, fun, simplicity, honesty melded
the angel, Delila, gift from the gods
gracious the vision thankful kindred spirit
finding you here, goes against all odds

------------------------------------------
some have the gift to share a moment on forever - as I imagine many of my blog friends have this gift. I was pleasantly surprised to meet just such a spirited person recently. It was a great pleasure to make a new friend and the inspiration for this poem.

Love Letter No 44 - Mindless Love

Dear C,
I am exploding to talk to you, to hear your voice, to see your face. You've ravished my heart with time spent, kind words, shared emotions, meaningful touch. Breaking it down, "I am about to lose it." There is something desperate that I must unmask. There's no label for this, call it "mindless". Is that what happens when love takes you to the edge and drops you off? Choice is out of the loop, emotion is distant, intellect takes a backseat. Mindless love takes over; instinctive, passionate, reactive, responsive, urgent.

Run with me. With graceful freedom we'll move forward together, renewed oneness, restored mind and strength.

With deep and tender affection,
L
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Write a love letter and share it with someone special in your life.

Love Letters are a Thursday feature.

------

Artwork 'i-appropriated' from Cori.

follow the link on the picture to see more of Cori's creative work

or visit her web at "Sacred Artist "--------

to bless abandon

Past the overgrown garden, over the leaf strewn
ground beneath autumn ash and oak, beside
the dried muck that was once a swampy marsh,
the backside of the dump exults in forgetful
riches.

Whether the parachutist without a
ripcord, the noble chef with few
recipes and fewer ingredients, the storyteller
turned writer whose thesaurus
burned for kindling, abandon lingers;
full emotional release exercised in disregard.

Reluctant fallacy, ignored truth, abashment
masquerading unconcern, the totality of abandon
must be blessed, sheer expose' on "discontrol", yielded
forgetfulness, disappointment uncurtailed, throw
these and more in the melting pot.

Problems isolate; harried and nagged
fantasy of release take us into abandon. Part
courage, yet full of restless energy, ennui
inspired with a healthful supply of failure,
and sickening sweet success thrown in; emerging
abandon brings healing beyond personal
efforts of effectiveness, satisfaction, truth, law,
notion or fallacy.

Bless abandon! Call sin out, whisper divine mysticism,
clamor of human grappling. Ever close abandon,
bless the journey to the distant place
that is near at hand.

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Photo 'i-appropriated' from Jack.
follow the link on the picture to see more Jack's great photography or visit her web at "Slightly off center"

Love Letter No 43 - Dance Love

Dear S,
You are flower fair. Freshness and freedom flow in your dance of life. Supple motion with unrestrained joy is a contact high from your heart to mine.

Honesty comes without pain, gentle thoughts designed to bare emotions. There is a gift there for just the two of us. Need I say as much? Looking into your eyes you've told me a secret, I will honor the gift and reply in kind.

We'll dance again and soon. Give me your hand and create the frame for the graceful journey to be shared by two. For none other ever danced away with my heart.

With deep and tender affection,

L
-----------------------

Write a love letter and share it with someone special in your life.

Love Letters are a Thursday feature.

:)

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to bless the wishing well

Memory acts as guide to favored choices, a trip to the wishing well may "parent ideas, form dreams, initiate sacred desires, justify longings."

May the steps leading to the wish reflect the beauty of the fountainous well provided. May the path's generosity bring acceptance beyond self limiting thought patterns ingrained far too long in routine.

May a wish inspire your heart to hope beyond the mere possible. May you stride confidently before teachers of peace, tranquility, intimacy and harmony to offer your gift of coin, which will free every anxiety and all fears, as wishes take the rightful throne of your imagination.

May the bubbling gurgle of falling water reflect the well of your inner struggle that overflows, breaking the bonds of ego and intellectualism to fly into the twilight truth of childlike chimera.

May you hear the universe respond in affirmation to the gift you give from this time forward.

primal confirmation

Where I am standing far or near
and all that I can see from here,
snowy mountains, wooded vale,
flowing river grassy field.
Consider where I am in life,
heading toward or left behind,
what is it I am entering in,
what prevents me how to begin?

does something stop me, from rising above,
essential gift for gaining love,
on this frontier I've staked a claim,
giving all and risking name,
changes in the drum beats flow,
where to turn, which way to go,
crossing with passions fully engaged,
allows life experience to gain new stage

are life's emotions coming alive?
confusion, fear, hope, inner drive?
give self over to ritual dance,
dramatize the process, take no chance
realize change brings challenge for self,
illness, suffering or sudden wealth
old life then seems most far away,
what once was close the previous day

fate surely shapes our every cause,
strengthen or strip us, give us pause
a script so secret, self must discover,
intensity unlike no other,
for every life is a mystery,
unfolding unique destiny
that we live is affirmation,
we are touched by life's primal confirmation

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Photo 'i-appropriated' from Jack.
follow the link on the picture to see more Jack's great photography or visit her web at "Slightly off center"

you are, i am

reconsider, because you can,
change your mind, if i'm your man,
walk away, and drift afar,
free to fly, follow that star
a great free spirit will flap its wings
back and forth the door still swings
once walked out, walk back in
don't think too hard, begin again
love's forgiving, kind, with care
heart once touched, ready to share
reconsider, because you can,
you are woman, i am man
----------

See more of this artist at Aghassi

Love Letter No 42 - United Love

Dear S,
From the first moment we lit up united. Inside me, inside you, between the two, "a connect" happened. Our gaze, our talk, our thoughts, it was definitely a "there" moment. Life whispers in your ear, "now, step up, here you go." United was on our minds.

So the conversation continues, "this table shifts", "I'll hold my foot on it", "how did we get here", "arrivals happen when gracious hearts open freely", and on and on, and the time is gone. United was in our hearts.

A few minutes together, doing each day what is important, that makes union.
That makes unity. That makes us united.

Why am I the lucky one?

With deep and tender affection,

L

to bless "the meadow"

This post dedicated to Michael,
the last bit of green,
and his faithful companion,
mentioned on his recent post "here".

to bless "the meadow"
by o'hOgain

after the consultations and reviews, a "decision",
how clinical, and sterile the modern mind,
what is the value of a romp across
a snowy meadow, or the song of the cricket
in the early summer as growth thickens
from greening of spring rains.

people do need space, and yes, there
must be room to frolic and roam,
to smell the earth and creepy
crawlers of each season, places for
moving fallen limbs or turning over
rocks to see beneath.

may this place be blessed with
song of lark, hum of bee,
frog's evening melody, and room
for pups like me, who's joy
is bound up in
meadow's sacred
moments.

---------------------------

"Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, and come with me.

See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.

Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.

The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me."

Song of Solomon 2:10-13

-------------------

Photo i-appropriated from Jack at Slightly Off-Center by way of Flickr.

cure

"mysterious angelic transcendent
love is the cure for the anxiety
of the human condition"
~o'hOgain

------------------------------------------------

Photo i-appropriated from Jack at Slightly Off-Center by way of Flickr.

Love Letter No 41 - Furious Love

Dear J,
I am agitated deep within my soul. My usual
blustering just will not do. I remember the
many times you used your favorite word
for me, "boisterous", you would say
with a knowing smile. And I would laugh my
concentrated laugh as if your knowing made no
difference to either of us. Because for all of the
excess we shared, our love is exquisite, in
a masterful way. No other word can explain the divine
encounter of mind, body and soul that urges our union.

Extreme, wild, unrestrained, even vicious do not
approach the nature of who we are
together. I never knew the meaning of savage until
your kiss touched the depths of me. It was at once
tempestuous and terrible, intensified by the
joining of hands. Your touch, my touch, intense and
impetuous. Set this raging inferno flaming in my
heart.

A tornado on land or a tempest at sea, this,
my dear one is furious love. And I love you.

With deep and tender affection,

L
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Write a love letter and share it with someone special in your life.

Love Letters are a Thursday feature. So I doubled up this week :)

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Love Letter No 40 - Lost Love

Dear N,
There are always options. The final option is to move forward once more. Yet, I sense love lost.

The other life, lived alongside the life we know, may go forward in love's name. However, this I experience here and now, lost love. The lightness, the breath of fresh air, the close your eyes surprise, the 'I'm yours', lost in the moment, lost in eternity, lost love.

Listen, hear that far away, the mournful wind moans, the sound of deep calling to deep. Even in this state is the more permanent connection, love lost. No one is the less, there is no "what could have been", when love is lost that is the true definition of nothing.

I love you.

With deep and tender affection,
L

------

Write a love letter and share it with someone special in your life.

Love Letters are a Thursday feature.

What if you had to tell that special one that this is it "love lost" - how would you manage?

----------------

to bless weakness

struggle may seem the opposite of strength,
yet even the strong may struggle,
thinking of ways to exceed requires
building on strengths more than
deficits,

pride may reveal difficulty
a place of weakness great,
for it is in the prideful moment that
boastfulness turns us upside down,

may weakness guide you to places of the heart,
places of new trust, new hope, new sources beyond
self and vanity,

may the least one that is near be met with the
abundance needed to raise them up and supply
their needs

may we see the reflection of our nature in those
who cannot 'do' for themselves when we give
ourselves for others.

may we love the unlovable for they are our
brother, sister, mother, and father too.

as the group sees the treatment of the weak,
may everyone rest in comfort that they too
shall be well received.

may weakness guide us with the tender care
of a loving parent to the sharing of inner gifts
of divine healing

may the prophets words ring true, strength made
perfect in weakness and the children's song become
the mantra of a generation, "I am weak but he is strong"

me and the rest of me

there is me, the me you see,
there is also 'the rest of me'

don't violate my driving space
lies told by leaders for my sake

attraction felt, I must suppress
anxiety of sudden singleness

no partner for life's intimacy
unchangeable wrongs that I see

inner child and forgiveness
intensity of love's aliveness

ambition to show greater grace

to reach for others losing the race

letting go when love had started
hidden tears for joys departed

happiness past explanation
gentle grace's ingratiation

this and more behind the scene
from the rest to me and all between
~(xox)~

paths

I want to walk the paths just for me
feel gently the breeze meant to blow
from the earliest day upon my cheek
feel the warmth of sun, meant to know

I want to lie down in grassy fields
among lush vegetation, smell earths smells
transitions begun from time still yields
instinctive memories as emotion swells

I want to swim the rivers and seas
or lakes with daring among the fish
wet skin all over, sure and at ease
be it hope, dream, blessing or wish

gentle gaze inward

"Casting a gentle gaze inward I perceive my deepest needs being touched mystically; once received any desire for other than this spiritual caress becomes inconceivable." ~ o'hOgain












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Photo i-borrowed from Jack at Slightly off-center